'This week I have mostly drinking Margaritas...'

I went for a manicure and pedicure with the gorgeous Jennifer at her recommended venue. I just wore capri trousers and a T Shirt. She had come straight from work and floated in looking every bit of a film star with a flowing dress and matching hat (which she said she’d worn all day). I must up my game with my wardrobe as I do love hats as you know! There were a number of men there which I had never seen in the UK and as Jennifer said, this is LA after all.

At WW there was a lady talking about her very ill husband and how she wasn’t able to focus on losing weight, which made me very humble and guilty for ever feeling sorry for myself about anything. This sparked a number of older ladies to talk about either their experiences with their ill or in fact crabby husbands or them being widows. It was a very moving and somewhat like therapy. One woman said that art therapy was the way to heal and I wondered if this was something I could look into…..

I had my Choir audition on the Tuesday night after the session. There was a guest choir leader who had really good ideas on how to sing and demoed it. She had the most amazing rich and full voice, which was virtually impossible to copy. She was called a Queen in the Barbershop National Championships and won a number of times. All the winners are awarded with unique and limited addition beautiful jewellery.

The evening was all about getting ready for whole performance of the two songs - the Ballad and the Smile upbeat melody. The quartets are also performing. We talked about the emotion of the song and that we need to present it, but not fully take it in, as it isn’t about the performer, but the audience. Then in usual LA style, the voice trainer shared how when her husband left her, it made her vulnerable to certain song lyrics. Then Monica shared about how the death of her son meant she couldn’t sing certain song lyrics at the time. It was a very sad story and we all felt for her. She is a true inspiration.

At the end of the evening I went into the back room with the quartet. They decided just to go straight for the audition with choir master Monica in the room, so that I wouldn’t flake out. I did get a few notes wrong, but recovered quickly (thank goodness) and sang very loud to cover my trembling. The three ladies were very encouraging and supportive. One lady who sings bass and has an amazing deep rich voice, kept smiling at me which gave me courage. The long and short of it was I’m in!!!

The quartet left the room and Monica said congratulations. When I came out of the room the entire choir cheered and I had to walk under arched arms at the end. Loads of them kissed me on the cheek and said ‘CongraDulations’.

It was all very emotional and actually, in my Britishness, I felt entirely undeserved!

Weds 10th April

We packed up our suitcases and left for the airport at 5am from where we now call home. It will be weird to return to somewhere we still feel is a little like a holiday home.

The day before I took Lulu off to Wagon Tail Ranch to be with her mates there. We received daily pictures throughout the week and after sharing a couple of them with a few people we met, we were then asked for updates and to see the pictures.

It was a four hour flight to Cancun and we managed to have a good nap despite the somewhat bumpy journey.

At the airport we met with another Blackline couple, Jessica and Josh from just up the road from us in Thousand Oaks and had a lovely first chat. Through the bus windows on the journey to the hotel, we saw mainly jungle and empty land

Grand Velas at Riviera Maya has an amazingly impressive entrance with a GOT like white wall and heavy wooden door gates manned by security guards – a great place to be, come the zombie apocalypse.

It was a 5 min ride through the jungle from the entrance on the main road to the beach resort. We were taken to our room by one of the hotel staff after a glass of champagne at the entrance and entered a luxurious room with a view of the beach from the patio doors.

We went to the beach in the afternoon. It had beautiful white sand and cyan electric blue water graduating to deep royal blue in the horizon. On the edge of the horizon was the Cozumel skyline of high rise buildings, they seem to float there. There were also two huge cruise ships - white hotels floating in a sea of blue. It was magical.

There were waiters on the beach and it was all inclusive - so margaritas all the way!

In the evening we went to an Italian restaurant called Luca, with Mark’s boss, Josh and Jessica, and around 6 others. It was wonderful exquisitely presented food. Everyone was so friendly and natural. I am amazed by the number of Americans I’ve met who speak Spanish well and are able to converse with the waiters. They are so well travelled. I have it on my list of To Dos.

What is intriguing about the Blackline group is that only a small number have met frequently, as they have come from different parts of the world and the far corners of US from London, New York, Chicago, Vancouver, Singapore, France, Spain and of course LA. The people I met were excellent at networking and small talk and seemed genuinely interested in your story. It was lovely to be part of the warmth and I felt very welcome. It was an intense but fun experience and you had to keep your wits about you to remember names, stories and where people lived, no easy feat after a few margaritas I can tell you, but you know me I always like to have a question or two up my sleeve, such as how did you meet, what was your first alcoholic drink and what’s your first vinyl.

I asked about what famous people we’d met and said my most famous experience was walking past Richard Ayoade on a zebra crossing. No-one of course knew who he was or in fact even what a zebra crossing was! Saying that though, most stories told, were of American sports stars I’d never heard of.

Thursday 11th April

We set up by the adult area, which was an infinity pool looking out to the beach. We were with Mark’s boss and just read, talked and swam. We went to the Spa in the afternoon and were shown into the changing rooms and given the obligatory paper undies, which really don’t cover much do they? Mark had turned down his paper boxers and ended up wearing a spare pair of ladies’ ones – hilarious. We were told to sit together and place our feet in bowls of small grains which felt lovely. We were given a Mayan healing ceremony, told to close our eyes and our hands were placed together with a smooth stone in between. The music was so relaxing as was the massage with citrus oils.

Afterward we were separated into male/female areas and given a water ceremony treatment where you are taken into hot and cold rooms, with steam, ice and body clay. In one room you pressed a button and I was showered by a really hot waterfall shower, then it stopped and there was a line of freezing cold jets down each side. This happened 5 times, hot then cold. Unfortunately, being 5 ft 3 meant that the top jet went straight in my ears. It was sounds of screaming and then relief each time.😊

The main body of people started to arrive in the late afternoon and then it really was an onslaught of names stories etc. at the swim up pool bar.

The evening was set up for a Mexican fiesta outdoor event with market stalls set up, (we were given monopoly money for this); a fantastic mariachi band which was fabulous and wonderful food with all you can drink - are you noticing a pattern here? The rest of the night was spent meeting loads of new people- so many -over 130 in all.

Janet is the marketing events coordinator, who organises all these big events and she not only gets to go to all these places (recon visits too), but has the most amazing budgets to spend. What a fantastic job. I would love…love… love to do that. Friday 12th April

I was really pleased to meet up again with gorgeous couple we’d met in Vegas last November, Dutch Jannet and her American Hubbie Eric from Montana (apparently it’s still heavy snow there).

Eric has the most amazing and hilarious stories, as he’s lived all over the world and spent quite a long time in London. He’s like a bit of a Bill Bryson character. I said he should write a book of memoirs. Jannet is like a great friend already and she has her Dutch take on everything from religion to politics and relationships.

Lunchtime was spent in a variety of cooking classes- we had the Mexican group, where we learnt to make guacamole, Mexican salsa and ceviche. Lots of chilli and lime in everything. It’s my new favourite food. I haven’t dare look it up on the WW app, but it can’t be that bad can it? 😊

We then went back to the pool to drink more margaritas and swim- it’s a hard life.

That night we met with the group of 10 with their partners that had managed to have an extra qualification and had got to go to Hong Kong in February with Mark. Sam and Hala were there who we had met while in Vancouver last year. Again they are such a lovely couple.

We ended up in the Koi bar which was a bus ride away through the jungle and drank more margaritas (including straight tequila Mascal which has a smoky taste and is less severe). We were dancing to Mexican disco music none of which I knew, but great fun.

Saturday 13th April

Today was pool and more drinks, but only after 11 am of course. Again, it was meeting yet more people at the pool bar. It’s like being on holiday with a mass number of friends. They really are all lovely people. I met Donna from London who is a carer and Luciana who is Brazilian but lives in Boston and has just opened up her own dentist business- we talked about white Hollywood teeth. Her husband Vinnie is a hoot and loves music. We had talked about music of 80s/90s at the Fiesta evening, though it turns out he hates Elton John with a passion. This was a good excuse to wind both he and Mark up as he loves Elton John.

One of my favourite couples was Sheila and Chris who met by fate. She was a flight attendant and Chris’ flight had been delayed and he’d had to take a different connecting flight,

I think the story was something like, it was instant attraction for her, so she’d given him a ticket for 37j, which didn’t exist, so he had to come back for a new ticket. They’ve been together for over 15 years😍 . We had a great chat about possible non-profit ideas and she’s given me a great idea to combine my pottery with a charity.

The famous 5, Huff (Mark’s Boss), Mark, Jannet, Eric and I, had a head and foot massage by pool- all five being done at once- wonderfully decadent! Wish I’d got photos actually.

Had a great chat with Stacey and Brian from Texas who actually didn’t own guns. A few of them were discussing going on flights to ensure they keep their platinum status. Brian went to Japan for 2 days there and back in his own. First class on way out and economy on way back just to keep his status. It’s a whole different world isn’t it?

On Saturday we also met another lovely couple called Andres and Bridgett (who looks like a film star - a red headed Aubrey Hepburn). They live near San Francisco, but Andres is originally from Colombia and we had a great conversation about the history of the cartel there and told me I should watch Narcos. I swapped my film choice of Vice. They told us the story of meeting at a salsa class, so that evening at the Karaoke bar we got a wonderful demonstration, we were so impressed, Mark and I have decided to look for classes when we get back.

The karaoke night appears to have gone down as one of the talking points of the holiday and Mark practically took over the whole bar, picking all the anthem songs. It was packed with not only BlackLine people, but also Mexicans and one guy got up a few times and had an Andrea Bocella voice- amazing. At one point we had a number of nationalities up together singing ‘You’re my best friend’ and a French guy called Cyril singing a French song about Mexico (which was the chorus). No one knew it, but were singing anyway. What an amazing evening, I loved it!!!! Went to bed at 2am, shattered.

Sunday 14th April

After slightly sore heads and breakfast in bed, I went off to the Tulum & cavern trip, while Mark, after the team building exercise in the morning, which enables them to write the trip off against tax, sat by the pool and wrote his presentation for that evening.

When I got on the bus, a number of people said they’d heard about the karaoke and had been sorry to miss it. I said let’s sing on the bus, but though they laughed they didn’t seem keen. The bus ride was 45 minutes where we travelled over vast areas of nothing but jungle that had intermittently spaced tree house type outlooks at the edge of the road with guards in them. It was the entire stretch of main road. The trippers were chatting about what they could be, so I asked the trip organizer and she said that they are indeed lookouts that are employed by the land owners to watch out for squatters, as if someone does manage to squat on the land, they have rights to the land after a while. We did ask what happens if they are caught squatting, imagining all sorts of horrible things, but actually, she said the police get involved.

We entered the Tulum area and parked at the entrance. Our guide wanted us to keep in a tight group and steered us past all the very inviting bars and souvenir shops filled with brightly coloured ceramics , beautiful embroidered clothing and textiles and shiny pewter objet d’art.

I’m sure she was probably getting a cut from the shop we finally ended up at the end of the tour. The entrance pathway soon changed into a wide dusty jungle pathway filled with people walking in both directions. We saw there was a big truck taking people on the 15 min journey, but our guide wanted us to walk, so walk we did. It was so incredibly hot that everyone of us was sweating profusely. ‘Speedy Gonzales’ she kept saying which was funny as there was a Gonzales in the group at the back with me.

We walked quickly through the crowds and came through a small arch at into the 13th century Mayan Tulum ruins. The site was settled upon as early as the 6th century. They were amazing.

The grey stones were stacked perfectly to make small pyramid type buildings. Apparently the invading Spanish fleet sailed past as they could not see a way into the bay, not realizing that the highest building on the cliff edge, called The Castillo, was built as a watchtower and marked the gap in the coral reef for sailors- I’m sure the Mayans were relieved at the time. Actually, it wasn’t the Spanish that made the Mayans desert Tulum, but the most rich left the area before the main Spanish invasion and left it for the poor who inhabited it thereafter.

Our guide told us about the rituals of the Mayans and how the fascinating calendar worked. It was made up of 3 areas a base line with 2 cog like circles on top. The outer circle represented 360 days with 4 days of worship not counted on the calendar. The inner circle was connected to the moon and showed number of days of a gestation period.

She also told of the chief’s rituals regarding women and how they would take the young woman from their husbands and impregnate them, saying they were divine. They would also use forms of medication/birth control on the women to control population. She said that no sacrifices were performed in Tulum but they were done elsewhere. Fascinating stuff, but all these facts were given to us under a melting sun and the air around us was like a sauna. We were all melting and so very glad to get back into the bus with air conditioning.

Our next stop was the Cenote caves. We came off the main road onto a very bumpy dirt track as the caves were on private land. As the driver stopped for the trip leader to take down the chain so we could drive through, you could see the shacks made up of corrugated iron sheets and completely open to the elements. The area looked devastatingly poor. What a contrast to our hotel lifestyle. It did make us feel uncomfortable for sure.

A few people had done something similar in a cave the day before, as the boat trip had been cancelled due to the choppy seas. They didn’t want to do it again, as they said it was a bit claustrophobic , but as it turned out this line of underground caverns were way better. We took off our outer clothes in the mini bus, as we’d all come in swimming costumes and walked through a bit of jungle to get our life jackets. We then walked to a hole in the ground with steps going deep into what can only be described as a black hole. I was pleased to be told that there were lights when we got down there. I’m so glad I didn’t watch the horror films The Cave or The Cavern, but unfortunately had watched The Descent😱😱

We descended into the hole on a thin wooden staircase, slowly one by one, and slipped into a clear pool and saw that it opened up into a small but very beautiful water cavern, with stalactites and stalagmites. The lighting was beautiful on the rocks and the water was so clear, you couldn’t tell that it was over 5 metres deep in places.

We floated while our guide told us all about how the Mayans first discovered the caves and treated them like holy places. We swam through the connecting caves, some opening up to large cathedral like spaces and saw bats flying overhead and fish swimming between our legs. Our guide took us into a completely dark area where she just had a pencil light- now that was rather unnerving, but exciting too.

After an hour we all emerged into the light exhilarated. It was an awesome experience!

When we got back a few of the Blackline group were gossiping and all abuzz about seeing Coleen Rooney at the pool with her 4 kids and saying what a good mum she was. Where Coleen was Wayne would be close by supposedly. I have to confess that I could have been sitting next to her and wouldn’t have known,

Although this morning as we left, I could have sworn a shortish balding man came out of the room next to us and looked a bit like Wayne Rooney. It’s funny that it was a South African guy who recognized Coleen as he is a Man United fan.

When we got back, we had yet another margarita and got ready for the farewell party.

The event was held in the ballroom in the Zen part of the hotel which was the bus ride away in the middle of the resort.

We all had welcome drinks (margaritas again). My liver will need a major rest after this. We did yet more networking and chats, but by now I’d met so many people it was like seeing old friends again. It appears the karaoke had become the stuff of legend to all those who hadn’t been there. I cannot tell you the number of people who asked if Mark and I were going to the Karaoke afterwards that night as they were sorry they’d missed the night before.

The night was a great success and I got to see Mark giving his speech to the Blackline staff on the stage after the Mayan dance show. I was so proud and people kept coming up to him thanking him for all he’d done.

We went to the Koi Bar again afterwards and danced until our feet hurt.

Mark and I sloped off at midnight knowing that we just didn’t have the energy and couldn’t repeat the magic of the karaoke bar from the night before.

Monday April 15th

The next day most people were traveling home, but we had an extra day. We laid in, then spent a very lovely, lazy and relaxing day by the pool.

In the evening I sat out on the beach and watched the beautiful sunset, not realising that the mosquitos were out in force and I unfortunately had several bites over my body, which have only now become incredibly itchy. I also watched a few of the staff let a few kestrels loose to scare off the birds.

Our last evening was wonderfully relaxed and quiet and we went to a French restaurant and had the tasting menu with various wines- fatal, but a truly amazing culinary experience. We ended with a tequila type of baileys which was fantastic.

Traveling home today Mark and I compared the number of invites we’ve had from various places in the world, from Vancouver and Phoenix to Montana and Costa Rica – I know people say come and stay in the moment and it probably won’t happen, but it was still lovely to be asked.

It wasn’t a great flight home as people in front lowered their seats as low as they could, so it was very cramped. My chair wouldn’t move and there was a very active and loud kid and mum behind us. I think she’d heard us speaking with our English accent, as when we landed the mum announces to the child very loudly that they are 3rd generation LA and proud of it and it was the best place in the world etc etc. Well I wanted to shout out I’m 100th generation Saxon, so put that in your pipe and smoke it!!! I realised I was tired though, so smiled sweetly in her direction.

I am happy to be home in good old LA, even though we’ve got to drive on the 101 to get there.

Now home to rest and detox!!! A week before my next weigh in and Guitar lesson. Pottery starts next week too. 😍