'that's all I have to say about that...'

It’s been a very busy couple of weeks with Max and Dani’s lovely visit in the middle.

Aqua has been good, though it isn’t necessarily getting any easier as Veena still shouts ‘straighten your legs’ at me. I swear they are straight, but look bent in the water due to my curves! Veena asked me my name again (nicely actually). I knew it was a precursor to her saying I wasn’t doing something right, so I smiled my nicest smile and said ‘Its Zoe, you told me off last week too.’ She was nice to me after that, saying well done to me a few times.

Afterwards I went into the jacuzzi next to a blue haired 70 year old lady, my lovely 91 year old friend Doris (who Veena had also told to kick harder-well I mean… I think it’s wonderful she’s even there!!!) and a friend of Doris, an elderly gentleman called Evan I think. He was lovely and we had a good chat about he and his wife travelling around Scotland on his honeymoon.

We fitted a pool cover at home and reel to keep it clean between HoseBs sessions and also to stop the water evaporating – apparently. I thought it might be too heavy for one person to reel back, but I’ve managed so far.

At WW we continue to have really good sessions. Char is really good fun and its beginning to feel like a lovely group of friends. Each week people are really interested in how you are and there is a genuine feeling of support. No one is shamed and scrutinised for not losing weight, but the sessions more like therapy, where people chat over goals and issues, with lots of meaningful sayings and mantras, such as, ‘It’s not who you are that holds you back, but who you think you’re not; Want to live- so chose life; Mindfulness eating; Keep in heart and mind; Cheating is a choice; We are all on a Journey; Plan for love, life and success…’ any of which could be a slogan on a T-shirt – I love it - very LA!

I went to Mali’s the hairdressers and decided to go for a red ombre. Mali’s was filled with lovely decorations as it was Persian New Year and they were getting ready to celebrate this over a few nights, it sounded like.

The other employees are also Persian, so there was lots of chatter back and forth which I wasn’t party to. Mali’s is a lovely atmosphere which I enjoyed, but I was there 4 ½ hours!!!!

I did come out with lovely hair (though not at all red as I had wanted) and caterpillar eyebrows, which I was very unsure of at first, but they look right now. I have never had dark eyebrows as they have always been very blonde and sparse. I am not sure if this was because when I was a teen, my mum decided she was going to pluck my eyebrows and leant on my chest to do it. I’m sure she won’t mind me telling you that! 😊 Anyway, eyebrows are Mali’s speciality, so I had requested that on top of my hair. Since I pay even cheaper rates in the UK than normal, I hadn’t been prepared for top Hair salon LA prices….. let me just say, guess a cost, then double it….no triple it!!! I should have known when I saw one of the trainees had Prada loafers on. I felt extremely guilty for spending that amount of money on my hair, I can tell you.

I had Ahh Acapella Choir in the evening and we met early in Chipotle (pronounced Chi-pot-le , not chip-o-tle, as I had been calling it). This was for the choir fundraiser – a good system where if you have more than 30 people you get 30% going to the charity. It was lovely to chat to new people.

Monica our choir leader keeps saying we need to give the songs ‘alodder budder’.

I had my first practice with the quartet, which I loved, though it is hard when you are the only one with the melody line. The first go wasn’t too bad and I think I am ready for the audition now, though my second go this week didn’t go quite as well. I did get some compliments on my voice range, which made me feel better.

The choir had a visitor who was a singer song writer. He aims to use the choir as backing on one of his records and wants the group to come to the recording studio - exciting! I didn’t recognise him, but that doesn’t mean much.

Monica asked me if I wanted to be part of the competition in Bakersfield next month, which was very flattering, but I don’t feel ready and of course I have a few weeks away coming up. I’d rather take it steady and not get stressed by what is supposed to be a hobby after all. A sweet old lady called Jennie introduced herself to me, who was very chatty, until we discussed how she felt Angelenos aren’t as friendly as they used to be…’it’s all the immigrant’s fault’ she said. I smiled and said, ‘I think I’m an immigrant, aren’t I?’

I went for a long walk with my lovely neighbour Marla and Teddy. Lulu loves him. We walked past some amazing gardens, filled with flowers and cactus and flowering cactus.

The most stressful part of the walk is that Lulu decided to go twice on two if the artificial lawns….let me tell you it’s difficult picking up doggie doos from what is actually furry plastic when its warm and runny and doing it quickly before the owner comes out 🤢 Marla seemed oblivious as Teddy did the same thing. Personally, I’d rather walk in the park.

We’ve decided to change bank accounts from Chase to Wells Fargo as it’s the only way we could get a joint account. I have to say I was disappointed that I can’t get a BB8 card with Chase now, but Wells Fargo go one better, as you can have a photo on it. The only issue is that there is a chip on one side and a square logo on the other, so the picture I initially put on had Jakes face obscured by the chip and Max’s by the logo. I spent ages on trying to get the right picture and in the end, it was rejected as I put a Union Jack in the background – what a cheek! I realise I may have too much time on my hands…

Talking of too much time on my hands, Mark’s work is helping me to apply for a visa to work, which is a lottery type draw in October. There is no guarantee, but I had a conference call with HR and they liked my CV so much that if successful, they want me to come in to work in the marketing department (possibly).

I mean…..who would have thought it….Mark will be pleased. 😊 Actually, he was a bit miffed that I put a table for my watercolours, next to his desk at home last week, so I’m not sure how he will take to me being in the same office – teeeeheh!!

We went to LAX Airport which is always an horrendous journey on the 101 to collect Max and Dani.

While we waited, we people watched at the arrival gate and I’m always reminded of the opening scenes in ’Love Actually’. There were loads of mums and dads arriving to see their adult kids. It was lovely to see, though I was aware that it was the opposite for us.

So, Max and Dani arrived and it was so very lovely to have them here. The house had been cleaned within an inch of its life and even Lulu had been groomed. We also had a heady schedule of exciting trips to pack into the week.

The first day we went to Westfield Mall and then onto downtown LA to Staples to see the LA Kings play the Anaheim Ducks at ice hockey (only in America, the Ducks team had been started after the Disney film). As with basketball the crowd are very vocal, but friendly and the crowd was a mix of the teams with lots of friendly banter ensuing. The man playing the Wurlitzer was on the screen this time and played really heavy rock songs such as Iron Maiden. The DJ played Black Betty and AC/DC during the match – you wouldn’t have that in football (soccer) would you?

It was a violent game in parts with pushing into glass, tripping up and a fight between two of the players escalating quickly where the whole two teams crowded in to them. It was clearly something that happened regularly as the Wurlitzer man had a tune ready and the crowd cheered. Very, very strange!!! I think I prefer basketball.

The next day, Mark was at work, so after a lovely pancake breakfast at iHop, I drove back into LA to the Griffith Observatory, which is always so beautiful and great for seeing the LA skyline, right to Malibu and of course the Hollywood sign at its finest.

We then went onto LA Zoo, which was good, but not a patch on Marwell or Longleat in my opinion.

After we got back, the weather was so lovely we decided to have a dip in the pool. Max and Dani did a good job of encouraging Lulu in the pool and she had a great time getting in and out and naturally splashing about with her doggie paddle.

Dani and I found a new park, called Knapp Hill Ranch. It’s a smaller park than the soccer field we normally go to, but it’s on top of a hill and overlooks the San Fernando valley and it’s an awesome view.

On the Tuesday we went down to Malibu and had lunch at the Hawaiian restaurant Dukes. As we arrived at the bar waiting for our window table, we saw dolphins swimming and playing in the shimmering bay – magical!!!!

I then drove them up the beautiful Pacific Highway to Santa Monica Pier. Amazingly it was only $7 to park right next to the beach. We had a lovely doze on the beach for an hour and then walked up to the pier and played in the arcade there – I played my goto Walking Dead and asteroids (which I am pretty good at, though I say so myself). Max was brilliant at guitar hero, though you’d expect nothing less really.

On the pier there are loads of performers. Most were amazing, from a gravelly voiced guitar player, to a girl singer who sounded as if she was straight of American Idol and a Chinese musician playing a single stringed instrument which was amazing. There was one performer though that was bloody awful. As we walked up to him in his glittery red suit and sunglasses, we heard what sounded like James Brown. Blimey, we thought – he’s good… only it was James Brown on a sound track and the man was kind of rapping or talking over it. It was highly embarrassing, but also hilarious. Bless him!

We then went to Bubba Gump for the variety of shrimp (said in the Bubba accent of course) and after watching the beautiful (but cold) red sunset on the beach, headed for home to watch Forest Gump.

I wanted to take Max and Dani to do a local bit of shopping and in my research found the following…

‘Tarantula Hill is located off of West Gainsborough Road in Thousand Oaks, between Grand Oak Lane and Camino Manzanas. Just park your car by the prominent oak tree and little green sign. The hill is named after the spiders that inhabit this peak that happens to be the highest point within the Conejo Valley, at about 1,057 feet.’

Why in the love of all things would you ever want to go there- completely mad!!!!!!!!

Instead we steered well away from that attraction and headed for the Guitar Center and The Oaks shopping mall. Max bought a fuzz pedal called ‘swollen pickle’.

Signs and shop names that Max was especially tickled by were the following:

Indiana Bones and the Temple of Groom

Dickies Pants Town

Tilted Kilt Scottish restaurant (which we will have to try for Burn’s Night next year)

Love Sac…..

On Wednesday night we went to the Laughter Factory in downtown LA and were lucky enough to use the valet parking there. Jack Whitehall was one of the acts and he was brilliant. Ver fast paced humour, compared to some of the other comedians.

Dani and I had had a giggle earlier in the day, as I had been telling her all about the signs I had spotted at 24 Hour Fitness which said ‘Persons having currently active diarrhoea or have had active diarrhoea in the last 14 days should not use the pool’. We had laughed about the fact that some people would still consider using it despite a runny bottom and that there must have been an incident or two for there to be a proper printed sign up. Anyway, this was one of the main parts of Jack Whitehall’s act. I wonder if I would ever dare trying stand up…..no never!!!

At the end of a very enjoyable evening, I went to the restroom (listen to me- loo) and saw a sea of wonderbras, high heels and Botox, I did feel very out of place.

Our next day, we got an uber into Hollywood on the congested 101 again. Our Uber driver was Persian and talked about the new year, as well as pointing out the antennas which were capturing all our thoughts and pointing out the ‘Museum of Psychiatry – an Industry of Death’ saying that it was worth a visit. Clues there which led us to believe we were being driven by a scientologist – yikes! I can tell you now, that despite my willingness to try new things, I will not be visiting that museum, nor will I be going into any of the weekly Scientologist open days in Hollywood.

In Hollywood we went first on a Celebrity homes tour through the hills of Hollywood, into Beverley Hills and Bel Air. There were some truly amazing houses many used to various films from Iron man to Charlies Angels, as well as the Famous Beverley Hills Hotel shown on the cover for Hotel California by the Eagles.

We then went onto Hollywood Boulevard and walked looking at the stars on the path. Trumps looked remarkably unspoilt, though there was a metal fence around it so you couldn’t get to it. The street was made up ready for the premier that evening of Shazam and Dumbo with a ferris wheel.

On Friday, we couldn’t bear to visit the 101 again, so decided to stay closer to home and visited Calabasas. The Commons outdoor mall is beautiful and the Leonis Adobe museum there, is little bit of American history. It is a 1840s farm and shows what life was like then. We looked around the house, barn and blacksmith area; fed the chickens, goats and sheep; pumped water from the well and chatted to a group visiting from an assisted living centre near Calabasas. Two ladies thought I was one of the helpers and one asked me where she had parked her car. She was told by the actual carer that she had come by bus.

Our last evening together was at our favourite restaurant Fleming’s, which has the biggest steaks I have ever seen.

We rolled home and Max and I had a funny cigarette.

It had to happen…. The wonderful Max and Dani had to go home of course. My heart ached and I had a good cry…. ‘that’s all I have to say about that’….

Back to diet and gym!!!! Must lose 3 stone in a week.